What do you say to a person who is leaving in 2 days for basic?

My friend Peter (Oopie Doopie) is leaving. In 2 days. I worked at camp with him for 4 years but didn’t really get to know him until last year when I got stuck in a po-dunk town during a freak storm ALL NIGHT.
He suggested that everyone come to camp today and hang out. He wanted to soak in the environment as much as he could. Being back there reminded me a lot of my last night at camp. I just remember sitting on my tent pallet (because my tent had been annihilated the week prior due to a really nasty storm) sobbing. I was calling out for God to answer me. “Why do I have to say goodbye? You know how much I hate goodbyes”. I know now that it is the only way for me to grow. To say goodbye to the things that keep me in one place. I get really really really attached.
Goodbyes are really hard. So when I had to say goodbye to Peter I got all choked up. I really respect him. He is a gentlemen and such a spunky person.

But tonight I got to lay out on the dock again. Like old times.
We all shared stories about previous years and also waged war with the frogs across the lake. If you make the same noise back to them, they will get louder and louder each time.
These guys are quality people and can make me laugh so freakin’ hard.
They are my brothers.

Camp holds SO many memories for me. Everyone on staff is my family. When we all get together we make it worth it. We may be a very dysfunctional family, but a family nonetheless.
I am really going to miss them. Which brings me to the conclusion that I am going to volunteer for a week out there.

I just have to.

Technically, for me, summer begun May 2nd. But in reality- I think it started yesterday.

I had a lot going on for the first few weeks of my summer break. Planning for Aquapalooza, getting things ready for my missions trip, cleaning… among other things.
Aquapalooza was great. I am pretty sure that Jenny & Tyler made the evening for me though. I was pretty discouraged with the amount of people that arrived, but I feel like I am every year. I put up expecatations that everyone and their mom would show up. But with benefit concerts, everything is so unreliable. BUT. With that being said, everyone there had a great time and everything went so smoothly. We raised a whopping $1,426! :D
And then we had a bonfire at my house- which was super fun. Jenny and Tyler came outside before they went to bed and enjoyed some s’mores and some original Russell stories/ Arkansas.
The next morning they left a cute thank you note on my pillow and it warmed my heart :).

Sunday morning was very unexpected.
After church a lady who has taken it upon herself to help me with fundraising for my mission trip came up to me. She handed me an envelope and said: “We are all finished with the yardsales, and well, my first goal was $1000 and we surpassed that. So then I made a second goal of $1600, and well… I am just a little short of that.”
Inside was $1545.
I put my hand over my mouth and tried to choke back the tears, but they wouldn’t stop.
In that moment I felt a lot of different emotions. The most was gratitude and shock that they raised that much money. But one that crept up on me throughout the day was excitement. For the first time, it actually became real for me. I’m only $900 away from going to Africa.
I can’t believe it.

And then yesterday, oh yesterday. I just had a great time hanging out with Kristen and Nick for the first part of the day, and then that night a lot of us watched The Little Mermaid.
Where we attacked Nick for all the horrible things he has done. He brought that upon himself when he threw a tissue full of glitter at me.

Basically, it is so wonderful to be home.
I haven’t been bored yet.

I’ve been missing this. :D
YAY SUMMER.

I finally got to sit out under the stars a few nights ago and play guitar with God. It may be my favorite place. While I sat there and played I started singing about the beauty of His presence and how all of creation reflects His goodness.

Can you imagine what the Garden looked like? If we lose ourselves in the stars, imagine what they used to be like when God created them before sin entered the world. I sat there in awe, closing my eyes and listening to the frogs and the wind through the trees. He created the Garden to be serene, beautiful, and glorious and then sin ravaged the earth. But what the world looks like today is a testimony of how redeeming his love is.

He took this sinful world that was supposed to be perfect- but still managed to make it beautiful nonetheless. So that when we get the chance to take a step back from our busy lives and sit with him in creation, we catch glimpses of the Garden.

And thank God for that. Because I understand God most through His creation. When I can sit back and think, “Wow, the God who made all of this, who holds the universe, cares enough about me to be involved in my life.” He created the stars, but also created us…. most days I can’t even fathom His greatness.

Believe it or not, Illinois smells different than Oregon.
I couldn’t stop breathing deep breaths and savoring the smell. Oregon smells really good too, but there is nothing like the familiarity of home.

And I saw lightning bugs.
And I mowed today and got a SUNBURN. (which is important considering I haven’t seen the sun in a long time).

I’ve missed home. It’s good to be back. Waking up in my own bed was really great. It feels like I never left.

And tonight is the first bonfire.
yus.

I decided to go through my journal of sermon notes and write out what I underlined, or deemed important that day. I just wanted to see in a nutshell what I’ve learned this semester.
It’s quite beautiful.


-We are called to give.
-Prayer isn’t long, regurgitated phrases on repeat. It’s raw, open interaction.
-We’re called to offer the world to everyone.
-The prodigal song was lost by choice.
-You are not alone.
-God is not scared of honesty in prayer
-Jesus doesn’t give joy and peace, He is joy and peace.
-wandering
-Create shalom
-What is the spirit up to in your heart?
-when you know who you really are, you start to weep at the cross.
-You don’t change people, the holy spirit does.
-We live a life with Jesus that can’t be explained without Jesus.
-You only love in accordance to how you know you’ve been loved.
-People who have less give more.
-Does your giving take faith?
-The best things in life are hard. You can live an easy life- but you have to settle for mediocrity
-Its in slavery that you find freedom.
-God is involved in your life to the degree that he has authority.
-Savor the beauty of life in the times between vision and completion.

I was in the company of 3 wonderful Montana Men Wednesday night. Chris and his friends, Pete and Dan, came into Portland to see a once in a lifetime show. (or so they say). It was Jeff Mangum, and he hasn’t played for 10 years and probably won’t play again after this tour.
He was really good and really interesting. :p

So I haven’t seen Chris since July. And I missed the crap out of him.
I found a ride into Portland after my classes were over and I was able to see the concert with him because they had an extra ticket. I took them to Voodoo afterward and they were pretty impressed.

We had to stay at my friend Beth’s house because she lives off campus. They couldn’t stay with me because of the Y chromosome.
But anyway, we had a really good time and I’ve missed him so much.
He was lookin’ pretty good too… which is weird.
And his friends are so stinkin’ attractive.
Guess who’s going to Montana for Thanksgiving… yeah. This girl.

On a more serious note, I love this guy. In a non-romantic way… or so I think. He makes me laugh more than anyone I know (because he is plain crazy). Plus he knows a heck of a lot about me. At camp he was always by my side making me smile even if I didn’t want to.
I’ll definitely be visiting camp this summer, and I think that he will be at my house on some weekends. He also wants to go on the float trip with us.
:)

(11 days until I come home…!)

Steals my heart every time.

:)

I have one more week with my homeless friends and tonight as I sat listening to my new friend, GJ, play guitar the realization came down hard on me. I looked around and saw my friendssitting around playing cards or messing with each other and I started to tear up. I’ve come to love these people so much and they mean the world to me. They don’t understand how much of an impact they have made on me and I wish I could show them.

So I’ve been reflecting on things I’ve taken from this year and above all this has been the best moment:
I was playing guitar with some of the kids there and a person I had just met tonight came up and asked, “Hey Megan, are you homeless too?”
I simply smiled and said, “No”.

The fact that the line between “me” and “them” has been blurred fills my heart with joy. I’m no longer viewed as a volunteer, but as a friend. To know that they trust me enough to share their stories with me has placed so much beauty in my life.
And that’s why it hurts to leave them. I feel like I’m abandoning them. What if I come back in August and some of them have moved on?
They’ve also taught me to give grace to everyone I meet. Even if someone is rough around the edges- they have so much life in them. That’s the problem with society today. We’ve placed certain expectations on how people should act in certain situations and when they don’t act that way they are deemed unworthy to be a friend.
But if I placed those expectations on my friends at Underground or Urban- I wouldn’t be going back each week. Since I have been able to move past what society would call unfit or ugly, I’ve been privileged to see a whole different world through their eyes. Their world.

And I think that’s what Jesus meant when He said to Love your Neighbor.

I’ve been working on a song for the past 45 minutes. It kind of came out of nowhere… I was just playing and I started singing.

My soul longs for you Lord
My heart needs your touch
I am nothing without you…

Cuz all I know is your love
So freely gave
Cuz all I know is your grace
Poured out for me

And you tell me that I, mean the world
to You.

This last line came like a line being fed to me. I was in a really quiet and intimate place with God. It’s a really beautiful melody- prettier than anything I’ve ever written or sung. 

For the past few days I have been in complete awe of how powerful and amazing God truly is. We can’t even fathom Him… and let’s face it- we don’t really know how to praise Him. Donald Miller says that this life is a constant dance toward God. I believe that with all of my heart. The more I seek Him out and the more I experience life, the more I know Him.
At least what my little mind can comprehend. I love seeing those glimpses when I least expect them. Usually they come when I am quiet and still. He likes to speak to me when He knows I’ll listen…


I mean the world to him. And so do you.

I’m going to be real with you for a second.
I’ve doubted prayer for a long time.

But lately God has been showing me how much power there is in prayer and how much I need to become a woman of prayer.

Today a friend said, “When I’m not praying it is a lack of trust in God”.
That really hit me. I have been praying a lot more recently and I just feel so much more fulfilled.
I’ve been praying for funds for my mission trip.
I’ve been praying for Joe. (a lot.)
I’ve been praying for my chaplain position.
I’ve been praying for Aquapalooza.


Hitting more on that last prayer- when I come home I am going to have a meeting with everyone on the team outside, in my backyard around a bonfire.
But after the meeting is over I am going to open it up and let whoever wants to stay join me in prayer and worship.
I want to pray as a team for Aquapalooza.
Also, I want to start having bonfire nights at my house and have my friends over for worship and prayer. I’ll do them even if nobody comes.
This has been on my heart the past few days.

So this summer, since I will be home, I am going to be doing that.
Please feel free to join me :)